IMMOLATION: CHAPTER 49

Tea Leaves sat slumped in his chair, unable to lift his mouth as the sludge that passed for food oozed out of the tube and onto the side of his face. Each breath rattled in his chest with effort and his heart palpitated at irregular intervals. To his side he could hear Judge Dervin slurping down his meal, gagging only a few times. They'd been getting better at keeping their food down, ignoring the fermented lumps of who-knows-what. Judge Dervin had even begun to get some of his strength back. Tea Leaves, on the other hand, was only getting sicker. He couldn't tell if it was something they'd put in his food or not, but every day, shortly after eating, he'd feel more of his strength leaving him. A pity, really, since he and Judge Dervin were almost beginning to get along.

“You going to eat that?” Judge Dervin asked once his own food had stopped flowing.

Tea Leaves tried to laugh but all he could manage was a gurgle. He was so tired. All he seemed to do these days was sleep and yet when he awoke he felt just as weak and weary as before.

“How are you doing?” Judge Dervin asked.

Tea Leaves shrugged. “It'll get worse before it gets better,” he said, his mouth tacky with drying saliva.

“Will it get better?” Judge Dervin pressed.

Tea Leaves shifted his head to the side so he could look at Judge Dervin properly. Their relationship had always been an odd one. At times, Tea Leaves thought Judge Dervin was truly worried about him. At the moment, Judge Dervin's expression was unreadable.

“It may if all I am is sick,” Tea Leaves said after some thought. “It may not if I'm poisoned.”

Concern flashed across Judge Dervin's face, but his eyes, looking to his own feeding tube, told Tea Leaves that Judge Dervin's concern was for himself.

“Oh I doubt you have anything to worry about,” Tea Leaves droned, “They only put you here because it was convenient. I'm here for retribution.”

“Why?” Judge Dervin asked. “What did you do?”

It was as though the many years had been stripped away and Tea Leaves could see his native England. His old home, old office, old haunts. “I was a professor,” Tea Leaves heard himself saying. “I loved teaching, seeing young and brilliant minds grow beneath my tutelage.” The faces of his favorite students rose to the surface of his memory and he smiled.

“But I had a weakness,” Tea Leaves went on as the faces of another group of students overshadowed the others. All of them beautiful young women. So full of happiness and life. “I couldn't help it,” he wept, “and after each one I swore it would be the last...but it never was. There was always another beautiful woman, a lovely girl in my class who would be so nice, so innocent and trusting.”

“You're disgusting,” Judge Dervin spat.

“I know,” Tea Leaves agreed emphatically, “but I couldn't help myself. I couldn't. Such an urge, such an impulse...it was beyond reason, beyond madness.”

Tea Leaves needed Judge Dervin to understand this and pleaded silently within that he would.

“And they never caught you,” Judge Dervin said with growing disgust.

“Oh, but they did,” Tea Leaves shivered, “At least, Muto did.”

“Dr. Muto?” Judge Dervin asked, “How?”

“He had a daughter,” Tea Leaves stated.

Judge Dervin leaned back in his chair, a look of shock and horror on his face.

“He already had his plans to change the world, and in exchange for my services he held his silence.” He sucked in a deep breath to continue and something inside pulled painfully tight. His heart quavered and his chest seized. A groan escaped his lips and his eyes bulged with terror. For weeks he'd known his days were numbered, but that number had been vague, ephemeral, as though it would never actually arrive. Muscles throughout his body tensed and jerked in their death throws.

“Dervin,” Tea Leaves choked, “Dervin!” He pierced Judge Dervin with his gaze, willing him to listen to his final words. “I—I could never do it,” the taste of metal overwhelmed his senses for a moment and he curled in on himself. “I could never...” he groaned.

Judge Dervin pushed himself even further back in his chair, apparently repulsed by the sight of Tea Leaves' suffering.

Pain continued to crescendo until Tea Leaves thought he couldn't take any more. “Your daughter lives,” he said through clenched teeth.

Something popped inside of him and Tea Leaves fell limp.