Here's a screenplay for a mockumentary I would love to see finished. An attempt was made a while back but technical difficulties made it unwatchable. Have you ever seen any mockumentaries? If so, which ones? If not, why not?
NOTE: V.O. means Voice Over, O.S. means Off Screen, (CONT.) means the character's line is continued following some action, words in all caps are props or sound FX or a character's first appearance. INT. means interior, EXT. means exterior. Pan, Tilt, Shift Focus, are all camera directions. Any other questions, feel free to ask.
American
Reaper
By
Gabriel
C. Taylor
1
INT. OFFICE - DAY 1
Credits
Begin
Close
on Office wall. Pan across CALENDER, PHOTO-BOOTH PICTURE STRIP of
Death and young woman, PLAYING CARD, other assorted ITEMS.
INTERVIEWER
V.O.
What
do people say when you tell
them
what you do?
Close
on desk, littered with PAPERWORK. Pan across revealing messy stacks
of SPREADSHEETS, SCHEDULES and OBITUARIES in either the IN-BOX or
OUT-BOX.
DEATH
V.O.
Everyone
thinks I’m joking, so they
try
to be funny. You know, it’s a
living...Someone’s
got to do
it...You
can make a killing in that
line
of work...I’ve heard them
all...
Continue
panning across the desk to reveal a computer with a black keyboard.
The screen saver is on, "R.I.P."
INTERVIEWER
V.O.
But
you’re not joking, are you?
DEATH
V.O.
(serious)
No...I’m
not.
Finish
pan on a COFFEE MUG displaying the words "Worlds Best Reaper",
"#1 Reaper", something to that effect. Or a NAMEPLATE:
DEATH BLACK
Credits
End
2
EXT. BUSY SIDEWALK - DAY 2
DEATH
stands still in a sea of people, all of whom are rushing about (time
lapse, blur?). Even though the mans face looks young (30’s), he has
streaks of gray in his hair around his temples. This man is Death.
Close on Death as his head snaps to the side and (slow motion)
watches a woman walk by. Death SNAPS his fingers and a counter
appears above her head, counting down. The counter reads as
Year:Month:Day. i.e. 45:11:8 means 45 years, 11 months and 8 days.
DEATH
V.O.
It
starts with a feeling...usually.
Then
I start looking around, and
when
I see who it is, it’s like
electricity.
Death
follows the woman and taps her shoulder and the
counter
turns white. She continues on, glancing back only
briefly.
INTERVIEWER
V.O.
So
you just show up when
it’s...time?
3
INT. SUPERMARKET - DAY 3
Death
is walking down the isles, pushing an empty cart looking at people as
he goes. Death comes up to a pregnant woman and SNAPS his fingers. A
counter appears above both her head and her pregnant belly. Both have
lots of time remaining.
DEATH
V.O.
Well,
I try to catch people before
then
if I can, make things easier
for
me. But It’s an individual
thing,
you know, when they’re
ready.
Death
pats the woman on the shoulder and she smiles. Death walks on, SNAPS
his fingers again and the counters disappear.
4
EXT. CEMETERY - DAY 4
Death
walks among rows of headstones with the Interviewer at his side.
Death waits for no man and presses forward. The Interviewer is eager
to do his work. This is the interview of all interviews. He looks
like he’s walked out of a 1970’s news room in his blue/gray suit
INTERVIEWER
Now,
you have to reap every soul?
DEATH
Every
soul.
INTERVIEWER
And
you’ve been doing this since
the
dawn of time?
DEATH
More
or less, yeah. It’s a full
time
job.
INTERVIEWER
Do
you ever get overwhelmed by it
all?
DEATH
How
so?
They
come to a WWII veteran’s marker.
INTERVIEWER
Take
for instance major events,
like
wars and natural disasters.
How
do you handle those?
5
EXT. WAR - DAY 5
Stock
footage of combat. Stock footage of mass graves Counters above each
soldier change rapidly as they move, gaining or losing time with each
step.
DEATH
V.O.
It
gets...complicated. My In-Box
explodes,
names get lost or
mislabeled.
It’s a filing
nightmare.
6
EXT. CEMETERY - DAY 6
DEATH
walks among the headstones. The INTERVIEWER follows,
holding
the microphone, trying to catch Death’s responses.
INTERVIEWER
What
do you do?
Death
pauses at one of the headstones, SNAPS his fingers and checks the
counter over the grave. It reads in the negatives.
DEATH
This.
Death
pats the headstone and the counter fades away.
DEATH
(CONT.)
It’s
an awful mess. I work myself
to
death and it can still take,
weeks,
months, years even to clean
things
up.
INTERVIEWER
Have
you ever tried just cutting
your
losses and letting them go
un-Reaped?
Death
stops and pats another headstone.
DEATH
Once,
briefly.
Death
shudders.
INTERVIEWER
And
what happened?
Death
resumes walking.
DEATH
(darkly)
Oh
it was terrible. People...so
many
people...thrashing and
screeching.
It spread to the living
before
I could stop it. It’s mostly
under
control now. Though it still
crops
up in movies.
INTERVIEWER
You
mean...zombies?
DEATH
(startled/shocked)
Disco.
7
INT. CONCERT - NIGHT 7
Stock
Footage of people singing and dancing during the height of the age of
Disco. Lights flash and a man in a white suit does a solo dance
number.
DEATH
V.O.
So
after that I knew I had to be
more
responsible.
8
INT. SANTA’S CORNER IN THE MALL - DAY 8
CHILDREN
are lined up, waiting to see Santa. A BOY is butting his way to the
front. Death sits in a Santa suit, the Interviewer at his side in the
Elf suit. Children are lined up to sit on Santa’s lap. The
Interviewer is noticeably uncomfortable with the situation. The boy,
now at the front of the line, gets up on Death's lap. Death SNAPS his
fingers and checks his time.
DEATH
(CONT.)
Have
you been a good boy this year?
The
boy nods and Death gives him a long look. The boy wilts slightly
under Deaths gaze.
DEATH
(CONT.)
Liar!
The
boy runs for it.
INTERVIEWER
(hushed
voice)
They
let you do this every year?
DEATH
(playfully
creepy)
Ho
ho ho.
A
sickly girl climbs up onto Death’s lap. Death holds his gaze on the
Interviewer for a moment longer.
DEATH
(CONT.)
Have
you been a good girl this
year?
The
girl nods and Death SNAPS his fingers and checks her counter.
00:04:16. Death hands her a candy cane and her counter changes to
82:08:24.
DEATH
(CONT.)
Merry
Christmas.
GIRL
Thank
you Santa.
The
girl leaves. The Interviewer smiles at Death and nudges him.
INTERVIEWER
That
was-
DEATH
Shut
it.
INTERVIEWER
What?
DEATH
Not
a word.
The
Interviewer hesitates, then opts to return to his interviewing.
INTERVIEWER
Does
anyone hold on after they’re
dead?
9
INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT 9
A
PERSON lies dead in bed. MOURNERS have gathered around the deceased.
DEATH is there, in normal attire. Death approaches the bedside,
touches the deceased hand.
DEATH
V.O.
A
few try.
The
deceased slaps Death’s hand and goes back to being ’dead’. The
mourners don’t seem to notice the interaction.
INTERVIEWER
V.O.
What
do you do?
Death’s
form fades out and back in, now wearing the cloak and scythe.
DEATH
V.O.
That’s
when the cloak and scythe
come
out.
Death
gestures with the scythe and the deceased gets up and follows
sheepishly.
10
INT. OFFICE - DAY 10
Death
is picking his nails. His back to his desk.
INTERVIEWER
O.S.
People
are wondering, I’m sure, how
much
does fate play into when it’s
time
for us to die?
DEATH
You
think Fate bothers with
individual
lives?
INTERVIEWER
O.S.
Some
people do, yes.
DEATH
(chuckle)
She’s
far too busy with wars,
lightning
strikes, and lotto
numbers
to start micromanaging.
INTERVIEWER
O.S.
She?
DEATH
...Yeah...
Death
shifts uncomfortably.
INTERVIEWER
O.S.
There’s
a story there, I think.
DEATH
(uncomfortable)
We
dated for a while.
Shift
focus to the photo strip on the office wall of Death and the woman.
INTERVIEWER
O.S.
And?
Pan
over to an ACE playing card tacked next to the photo. Written in bold
letters "CHEATER"
DEATH
You
remember Santa's Workshop?
Yeah,
stay on her good side.
Death
shifts in his seat multiple times, straightening his clothes, etc.
and avoiding eye contact.
11
EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY 11
A
WOMAN is walking along the sidewalk toward Death and the Interviewer.
Her counter has plenty of time. The Interviewer follows, microphone
at the ready. A car is driving along the street in the background
coming closer.
INTERVIEWER
So,
can people influence when they
die?
DEATH
Of
course. Some choices lead
directly
to their death.
INTERVIEWER
Suicide.
DEATH
Yes,
but there’s also the choice to
zig
when you should’ve zagged.
The
woman steps out to cross the street just as Death and the Interviewer
reach her and her counter drops to a couple seconds.
A
cry of surprise catches in the Interviewer’s throat.
12
INT. CAR - SAME 12
DRIVER
screams and slams on the breaks. THUD.
13
EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY 13
Death
takes the Interviewer by the shoulder and guides him away from the
accident. The Interviewer keeps glancing back to the frantic driver
who can’t see them. Death pulls out a mint box and offers it to the
Interviewer.
DEATH
(CONT.)
Mint?
14
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT 14
An
overweight MAN sits in a dark room in front of his TV, stuffing his
face with junk food. The TV, though the screen is not seen, plays a
sports game. CROWD CHEERS/BOOS periodically. As the man eats, Death
SNAPS his fingers and a counter appears above the mans head. Each
mouthful knocks off a couple minutes/hours of his time.
DEATH
V.O.
More
often, though, it’s the daily
choices
you make that get you.
The
man continues to gorge himself. A loud CHEER erupts and the man leaps
to his feet. His counter drops the remaining time, he clutches his
chest and falls back to the couch.
BEAT.
15
INT. OFFICE - DAY 15
The
Interviewer and Death are seated across from one another in Death’s
office. The Interviewer checks his wrist watch.
INTERVIEWER
(somewhat
relieved)
Well,
it’s been quite the
experience.
The
Interviewer stands, Death follows suit. The Interviewer extends his
hand to shake Deaths.
INTERVIEWER
But
sadly our time is up.
Death
hesitates, eying the Interviewer, then SNAPS his
fingers.
BLACK
DEATH
Speak
for yourself.