SHORT STORY: AMERICAN REAPER Script

Here's a screenplay for a mockumentary I would love to see finished. An attempt was made a while back but technical difficulties made it unwatchable. Have you ever seen any mockumentaries? If so, which ones? If not, why not?

NOTE: V.O. means Voice Over, O.S. means Off Screen, (CONT.) means the character's line is continued following some action, words in all caps are props or sound FX or a character's first appearance. INT. means interior, EXT. means exterior. Pan, Tilt, Shift Focus, are all camera directions. Any other questions, feel free to ask.

American Reaper

By

Gabriel C. Taylor

1 INT. OFFICE - DAY 1

Credits Begin

Close on Office wall. Pan across CALENDER, PHOTO-BOOTH PICTURE STRIP of Death and young woman, PLAYING CARD, other assorted ITEMS.

INTERVIEWER V.O.

What do people say when you tell

them what you do?

Close on desk, littered with PAPERWORK. Pan across revealing messy stacks of SPREADSHEETS, SCHEDULES and OBITUARIES in either the IN-BOX or OUT-BOX.

DEATH V.O.

Everyone thinks I’m joking, so they

try to be funny. You know, it’s a

living...Someone’s got to do

it...You can make a killing in that

line of work...I’ve heard them

all...

Continue panning across the desk to reveal a computer with a black keyboard. The screen saver is on, "R.I.P."

INTERVIEWER V.O.

But you’re not joking, are you?

DEATH V.O.

(serious)

No...I’m not.

Finish pan on a COFFEE MUG displaying the words "Worlds Best Reaper", "#1 Reaper", something to that effect. Or a NAMEPLATE: DEATH BLACK

Credits End

2 EXT. BUSY SIDEWALK - DAY 2

DEATH stands still in a sea of people, all of whom are rushing about (time lapse, blur?). Even though the mans face looks young (30’s), he has streaks of gray in his hair around his temples. This man is Death. Close on Death as his head snaps to the side and (slow motion) watches a woman walk by. Death SNAPS his fingers and a counter appears above her head, counting down. The counter reads as Year:Month:Day. i.e. 45:11:8 means 45 years, 11 months and 8 days.

DEATH V.O.

It starts with a feeling...usually.

Then I start looking around, and

when I see who it is, it’s like

electricity.

Death follows the woman and taps her shoulder and the

counter turns white. She continues on, glancing back only

briefly.

INTERVIEWER V.O.

So you just show up when

it’s...time?

3 INT. SUPERMARKET - DAY 3

Death is walking down the isles, pushing an empty cart looking at people as he goes. Death comes up to a pregnant woman and SNAPS his fingers. A counter appears above both her head and her pregnant belly. Both have lots of time remaining.

DEATH V.O.

Well, I try to catch people before

then if I can, make things easier

for me. But It’s an individual

thing, you know, when they’re

ready.

Death pats the woman on the shoulder and she smiles. Death walks on, SNAPS his fingers again and the counters disappear.

4 EXT. CEMETERY - DAY 4

Death walks among rows of headstones with the Interviewer at his side. Death waits for no man and presses forward. The Interviewer is eager to do his work. This is the interview of all interviews. He looks like he’s walked out of a 1970’s news room in his blue/gray suit

INTERVIEWER

Now, you have to reap every soul?

DEATH

Every soul.

INTERVIEWER

And you’ve been doing this since

the dawn of time?

DEATH

More or less, yeah. It’s a full

time job.

INTERVIEWER

Do you ever get overwhelmed by it

all?

DEATH

How so?

They come to a WWII veteran’s marker.

INTERVIEWER

Take for instance major events,

like wars and natural disasters.

How do you handle those?

5 EXT. WAR - DAY 5

Stock footage of combat. Stock footage of mass graves Counters above each soldier change rapidly as they move, gaining or losing time with each step.

DEATH V.O.

It gets...complicated. My In-Box

explodes, names get lost or

mislabeled. It’s a filing

nightmare.

6 EXT. CEMETERY - DAY 6

DEATH walks among the headstones. The INTERVIEWER follows,

holding the microphone, trying to catch Death’s responses.

INTERVIEWER

What do you do?

Death pauses at one of the headstones, SNAPS his fingers and checks the counter over the grave. It reads in the negatives.

DEATH

This.

Death pats the headstone and the counter fades away.

DEATH (CONT.)

It’s an awful mess. I work myself

to death and it can still take,

weeks, months, years even to clean

things up.

INTERVIEWER

Have you ever tried just cutting

your losses and letting them go

un-Reaped?

Death stops and pats another headstone.

DEATH

Once, briefly.

Death shudders.

INTERVIEWER

And what happened?

Death resumes walking.

DEATH

(darkly)

Oh it was terrible. People...so

many people...thrashing and

screeching. It spread to the living

before I could stop it. It’s mostly

under control now. Though it still

crops up in movies.

INTERVIEWER

You mean...zombies?

DEATH

(startled/shocked)

Disco.

7 INT. CONCERT - NIGHT 7

Stock Footage of people singing and dancing during the height of the age of Disco. Lights flash and a man in a white suit does a solo dance number.

DEATH V.O.

So after that I knew I had to be

more responsible.

8 INT. SANTA’S CORNER IN THE MALL - DAY 8

CHILDREN are lined up, waiting to see Santa. A BOY is butting his way to the front. Death sits in a Santa suit, the Interviewer at his side in the Elf suit. Children are lined up to sit on Santa’s lap. The Interviewer is noticeably uncomfortable with the situation. The boy, now at the front of the line, gets up on Death's lap. Death SNAPS his fingers and checks his time.

DEATH (CONT.)

Have you been a good boy this year?

The boy nods and Death gives him a long look. The boy wilts slightly under Deaths gaze.

DEATH (CONT.)

Liar!

The boy runs for it.

INTERVIEWER

(hushed voice)

They let you do this every year?

DEATH

(playfully creepy)

Ho ho ho.

A sickly girl climbs up onto Death’s lap. Death holds his gaze on the Interviewer for a moment longer.

DEATH (CONT.)

Have you been a good girl this

year?

The girl nods and Death SNAPS his fingers and checks her counter. 00:04:16. Death hands her a candy cane and her counter changes to 82:08:24.

DEATH (CONT.)

Merry Christmas.

GIRL

Thank you Santa.

The girl leaves. The Interviewer smiles at Death and nudges him.

INTERVIEWER

That was-

DEATH

Shut it.

INTERVIEWER

What?

DEATH

Not a word.

The Interviewer hesitates, then opts to return to his interviewing.

INTERVIEWER

Does anyone hold on after they’re

dead?

9 INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT 9

A PERSON lies dead in bed. MOURNERS have gathered around the deceased. DEATH is there, in normal attire. Death approaches the bedside, touches the deceased hand.

DEATH V.O.

A few try.

The deceased slaps Death’s hand and goes back to being ’dead’. The mourners don’t seem to notice the interaction.

INTERVIEWER V.O.

What do you do?

Death’s form fades out and back in, now wearing the cloak and scythe.

DEATH V.O.

That’s when the cloak and scythe

come out.

Death gestures with the scythe and the deceased gets up and follows sheepishly.

10 INT. OFFICE - DAY 10

Death is picking his nails. His back to his desk.

INTERVIEWER O.S.

People are wondering, I’m sure, how

much does fate play into when it’s

time for us to die?

DEATH

You think Fate bothers with

individual lives?

INTERVIEWER O.S.

Some people do, yes.

DEATH

(chuckle)

She’s far too busy with wars,

lightning strikes, and lotto

numbers to start micromanaging.

INTERVIEWER O.S.

She?

DEATH

...Yeah...

Death shifts uncomfortably.

INTERVIEWER O.S.

There’s a story there, I think.

DEATH

(uncomfortable)

We dated for a while.

Shift focus to the photo strip on the office wall of Death and the woman.

INTERVIEWER O.S.

And?

Pan over to an ACE playing card tacked next to the photo. Written in bold letters "CHEATER"

DEATH

You remember Santa's Workshop?

Yeah, stay on her good side.

Death shifts in his seat multiple times, straightening his clothes, etc. and avoiding eye contact.

11 EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY 11

A WOMAN is walking along the sidewalk toward Death and the Interviewer. Her counter has plenty of time. The Interviewer follows, microphone at the ready. A car is driving along the street in the background coming closer.

INTERVIEWER

So, can people influence when they

die?

DEATH

Of course. Some choices lead

directly to their death.

INTERVIEWER

Suicide.

DEATH

Yes, but there’s also the choice to

zig when you should’ve zagged.

The woman steps out to cross the street just as Death and the Interviewer reach her and her counter drops to a couple seconds.

A cry of surprise catches in the Interviewer’s throat.

12 INT. CAR - SAME 12

DRIVER screams and slams on the breaks. THUD.

13 EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY 13

Death takes the Interviewer by the shoulder and guides him away from the accident. The Interviewer keeps glancing back to the frantic driver who can’t see them. Death pulls out a mint box and offers it to the Interviewer.

DEATH (CONT.)

Mint?

14 INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT 14

An overweight MAN sits in a dark room in front of his TV, stuffing his face with junk food. The TV, though the screen is not seen, plays a sports game. CROWD CHEERS/BOOS periodically. As the man eats, Death SNAPS his fingers and a counter appears above the mans head. Each mouthful knocks off a couple minutes/hours of his time.

DEATH V.O.

More often, though, it’s the daily

choices you make that get you.

The man continues to gorge himself. A loud CHEER erupts and the man leaps to his feet. His counter drops the remaining time, he clutches his chest and falls back to the couch.

BEAT.

15 INT. OFFICE - DAY 15

The Interviewer and Death are seated across from one another in Death’s office. The Interviewer checks his wrist watch.

INTERVIEWER

(somewhat relieved)

Well, it’s been quite the

experience.

The Interviewer stands, Death follows suit. The Interviewer extends his hand to shake Deaths.

INTERVIEWER

But sadly our time is up.

Death hesitates, eying the Interviewer, then SNAPS his

fingers.

BLACK

DEATH

Speak for yourself.