IMMOLATION: CHAPTER 34

“Name?” The guard behind the desk asked.

“Matt Wellis,” Matt replied in a flat, bored tone. He shifted his weight and Joan followed suit as she tried to minimize how much of her the guard could see.

“Who are you here to see?” The guard asked while he wrote Matt's name down on a name tag.

“My friend, Tom,” Matt said.

“Last name?” The guard asked.

Joan felt a chill shoot through her as she realized she didn't know Tom's last name, and neither would Matt.

“He's the guy who got burned by that freak girl who lights herself on fire,” Matt stated without missing a beat.

Joan let out a quiet sigh of relief.

“Oh, him,” The guard nodded and checked on his computer. “And what's his last name?”

Joan gripped Matt as her worry returned and her fire threatened to ignite.

“Oh my gosh Jen!” Matt exclaimed, turning around to face Joan, “Could you be any less annoying right now?”

Joan shrank back, shocked at Matt's sudden outburst.

“My friend Tom almost dies and I want just five minutes to say hi and all you can think of is how much you'd rather be painting your nails with whats-her-name, the fat one.”

“Wh-what?” Joan stammered beneath Matt's withering scowl.

“I told you before we left, five minutes to visit Tom and then I'd drop you off, okay?”

Joan nodded slowly and Matt turned back to the guard.

“Sorry about that,” Matt said, “She looks like she's twenty but acts like she's five.” Matt shook his head. “I hate middle schoolers.”

The guard glanced around Matt to get a better look at Joan. “She's in middle school?” He asked.

“Yup,” Matt stated, “Any way, can we go?”

“Yeah, yeah,” The guard said and quickly finished writing out Joan's name tag: Jen Wellis. “Third floor, room 305”

“Thanks,” Matt said and he took Joan by the arm and lead her away towards the elevators.

Joan waited until the elevator doors had shut before speaking.

“How did you do that?” She asked in amazement.

“Do what?” Matt asked while he tried to adjust his name tag.

“Lie to the guard so easily,” Joan explained.

Matt looked up. “Lie?” He asked, “I didn't think of it like that. Hmm. I just thought of it as acting.”

“You act?” Joan asked.

“Yeah, I'll do a little community theater every now and then.”

“I never would have guessed.”

“That's me,” Matt said in a conspiratorial tone, “Matt Wellis, man of mystery.”

Joan opened her mouth to speak but the elevator doors opened and she thought better of it. The less they spoke the better.

Joan let Matt take the lead once more as they made their way to Tom's room. They passed a few nurses stations but the most any of them did was look up and check that they were both wearing name tags. At last, they arrived at the ICU. Joan began to worry that they'd have to talk their way through another checkpoint but as soon as Matt explained who they were the nurse let them in.

“Yeah, security called to let us know you were coming,” The nurse said. “He should be awake right now, but don't expect too much from him.”

Matt and Joan nodded and then stepped into Tom's room. Joan was careful to shut the door behind them to prevent anyone from overhearing their conversation.

“Is that you Joan?” Tom said at once, his speech slurred slightly from the damage to his lips.

“What? How'd you know it was me?” Joan asked.

“When the nurse said that someone named Matt Wellis was coming to visit,” Tom explained, his voice weak and scratchy, “I remembered you talking about him and figured you were coming with him.”

“You didn't tell anyone, did you?” Joan asked.

“No,” Tom said.

With her fears abated, Joan was finally able to take in what she was looking at. Tom had bandages wrapped all around him. There were only a couple of slits for his nose and mouth. Cables and tubes crisscrossed their way though the bandages to various parts of Tom's body and Joan counted three bags of various fluids feeding into his I.V.

Matt moved over to the window and busied himself with watching the traffic below.

“How are you?” Joan asked, sitting herself down by his side.

Tom managed a dry chuckle. “That's the one nice thing about third degree burns,” He said, “Totally killed the nerve endings so I don't feel a thing.”

“How long will you be in here?” Joan asked, shocked at what she'd done to him.

“Doctors say if I heal up well I could be out of here in no time.”

“Really?” Joan asked.

“No,” Tom stated. “At best I've only got another six to eight months in here.”

“And worst case?” Joan prompted at noting Tom's tone of voice.

“I dehydrate faster than they can pump fluids into me and I die.”

Tom's voice was slow and serious, without the usual levity and humor.

“But that's not likely to happen,” Joan said, “Is it?”

From beneath his bandages, a slight hint of a shrug.

“I'm sorry,” Joan said through a tightening throat and she felt hot tears running down her cheeks. “I'm so sorry I did this to you. I never meant for this to happen.”

Joan cried for a few moments, unable to speak. Matt looked over to her but stayed where he was, eventually looking back out the window.

“I forgive you Joan,” Tom said quietly.

“What?” Joan asked, wiping her eyes.

“It wasn't your fault, I should have known better, and I don't want you to blame yourself for what happened.”

Joan nodded and smiled but then realized Tom couldn't see her response through the bandages.

“Thank you,” She said.

“But,” Tom said at once, “I don't want you visiting me anymore.”

Joan sank in her seat.

“Like I said, I know it wasn't your fault but being this close to you terrifies me and I just can't do this right now.”

“Oh, okay,” Joan said and she got to her feet. “I guess we'll be going now.”

Matt left the window and moved over to the door.

“You're a great girl, Joan,” Tom said with a hint of his old self, “And I want to thank you for a great time, while it lasted.”

Joan patted Tom gently on his bandaged head. Tom flinched and Joan withdrew her hand.

“Take care,” Joan said, “Write me a letter when you get the chance.”

“I don't have your address,” Tom said.

Joan opened the door to leave. “Just send it to the prison, I'll be back in my cell.”

“What?” Matt asked, grabbing Joan by the arm and turning her around to face him.

“I'm turning myself in,” She explained. “Tom was wrong, it was my fault. I shouldn't be allowed out in public where I can endanger others.”

Matt let go of her arm and Joan strode away, crying silently to herself and already feeling the walls closing in on her.

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Questions about this chapter: How do you feel about Joan and Tom's relationship? Does Joan's decision to turn herself in at the end make sense?